There are people who used to be my friends. I still see them–I’m forced to by my situation as a high schooler–but their voices begin to lose their significance, their faces become strange, and I don’t become attentive when I catch the colors of their backpacks in my periphery.
I lose them. Do I feel guilty about it? Not entirely. I don’t know why I am so willing to cut myself off emotionally from other people sometimes. I get very temperamental sometimes, but eventually I find it easier to just give up on them. It’s too tiring to concern myself with it.
I really love my close friends (there are so few now though). It’s hard for me to build the relationships, and I try to keep them.
And the old ones just vanish.