Pax, Pacis

I didn’t watch Spongebob, but I went over to a friend’s house for a sleepover and saw a few episodes a couple of times.

One of them features the titular character coming to a realization that his suffering is amusing to children, and, with this revelation, he begins torturing himself in order to protect his boss by keeping the audience occupied.

I always hated embarrassment, pain, suffering, or frustration when I was little–humiliation made me sick; and I always had to look away, covered my ears, when a character on television or in a movie was injured or mortified. While I found difficulty connecting in reality, I felt a deep empathy for those nonexistent individuals, and refused to observe their discomfort.

Thinking at anyone found those things amusing confused and infuriated me–and also put a hint of doubt and embarrassment in my mind.

I suppose I have a lot of good reasons for being a pacifist. And I do get angry with people, and I do experience violent thoughts; but that’s a trait of living in this world, living in this culture, living in this era. I’m only human. But I don’t want people to be hurt or unhappy (preferably if I haven’t met them and therefore had time to form a judgement of their character), and I’d like to avoid conflict on any scale, though I am willing to debate civilly, and I encourage that–I may have some difficulty with viewpoints, but if a structured argument is posed, I think it’s better for people to develop some perspective, as long as it is logical.

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