Hummingbirds

In the summer, we get hummingbirds.

Most people probably don’t think “tiny little pretty DEATH HELICOPTER” when they see a picture of a hummingbird, but that’s what I know them to be.

I didn’t know much about them besides nectar and generally being fast, cute, awesome, and the only birds that can fly backwards. But after I moved to where I am now, I know that they sound like something very scary right behind you. Except when they’re chittering. That’s cute.

It’s kind of the sound of a generator crying. Or a strangely grumpy bear. But you’re not going to understand through analogies. Just think that there’s a massive bee that’s making a lower-pitched noise than usual, and making it very loudly just by your head.

They really are pretty to look at, but even after you’re accustomed to them, hummingbirds will startle you into screaming “GET AWAY FROM ME” when you’re trying to relax with friends on a lovely summer day. Especially when you’ve got lots of wasps’ nests, because then you’re never sure if you’re going to need to be hospitalized, or if you’re just going to be stared at because you’re yelling at a freaking hummingbird.

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